Blog post,  Chronic Illness,  Encouragement,  Life

What 2021 Taught + Reminded Me

December 26, 2021

’Tis the Season — Cheers to 2021!

End of December greetings, lovelies. Over here in the desert, trying to wrap my mind around the realization of another holiday season swiftly vamoosing. Seriously!?!

Have envisioned hustling and bustling, twinkling lights, holiday confections and festive cheer — all over the world. Meticulously wrapped presents recently displayed underneath beautifully decorated trees, within a matter of minutes, Silent Night exploding into Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree — leaving colorful, crumbly carnage in the wake. Wrapping paper, tissue paper, ribbon, oh my! A merry Christmas indeed. To the gift wrapping industry! And retailers near and afar. (Unless, of course, your ‘afar’ products are sitting on a cargo ship, stuck in a supply-chain jam. Then, perhaps, Ba humbug?!)

Just like that, another 365. How is that possible? I mean, I know how… but ‘come on man.’

2021 — Personal Recap

Would love to unwrap this year by displaying oodles of photos, recapping a litany of fun and festiveness and fabulous adventure — doing life with the hubs.

Oh the stories I wish to boast, of a calendar full of celebratory gatherings and good cheer having been shared with family and friends.

(Being a sidelined spectator is highly overrated.)

Has become a trend, this “maybe next month… next year” sentiment. (Those who know, know.) Hope. Upon Hope. For “normal.” And improved health. And so much more. One day soon would be spectacular!

Hope upon hope — temporarily-permanently my jam.

This year has done its beastly best to educate. Personal knowledge abound (with a side of crusade!).

Similar to 2020, I spent countless hours dedicated to reading, listening to podcasts (various non-MSM, credible sources—really, really smart people/ scientists/ front-line physicians), learning as much as possible about Covid, the importance of early treatments, emergency vaccines, clinical trials, tyrannical mandates. Simultaneously deciphering + filtering the constant spewings from appointed/anointed “experts” and government officials, who often forget they work for us — We the People. (One day I’ll share how I really feel.)

While the aforementioned is worthy of noting, because of importance as well as significant purpose/ cause/ awareness, that’s not the focus of this post. Previous writings should fill you in on my general observations regarding most things Covid: Has the World Gone Covid Mad and ‘Physicians and Vaccine Tyranny’ as well as, Chronic Complex Illness Meets Covid (my personal dance with Delta).

‘Personal knowledge’ gained throughout the year (and numerous years before) — coping with symptoms and illness and the struggles with healing… and not healing — is continuous. Daily. An overwhelming education with expansive curriculum and diversity, that no one sees coming, nor would ever seek with intention.

As with the majority of human beings (willing to be awake and aware, regardless of age, education or pedigree), there are lessons to be learned — every single day the sun rises. Degrees, certificates, careers, homesteading, raising beautiful families — all incredibly admirable; tangible achievements and accomplishments to be celebrated; blessings to be cherished. Incomparable, infinite wisdom is humbly acquired with each step taken, regardless of the what, the when, the where, or the how — by overcoming the highs, and the lows (the really hard pieces-parts) throughout life’s journey. We are forever students of this life. May we never become so complacent we stop learning… and growing.

Knowledge Gained

As not to bore or overwhelm by repeating specifics (perusing the blog and Substack publications provides additional writings with the deets!), the following highlights what 2021 taught/ reminded me. Far from a complete listing. Nothing groundbreaking. Basic common sense. Simple. Yet, often more easily written (and said) than done.

Kindness. Yes, obviously! Be kind to others — The Golden Rule. A reminder, as well, to be gentle and kind with ourselves. Being kind is such a lovely and truly giving quality. We should elevate kindness more purposely in our daily lives, particularly when feeling annoyed or burdened. (Smiling helps — it’s an instant mood uplifter. Plus, smiling aids in keeping frown lines at bay, while making others wonder what you’re up to. Win-win-win!)

Grace. Have had to re-learn (over and over) to allow myself the grace and peace to simply be, and to accept and allow the gift of grace from others. His grace is with me, with us, in all things. sweet friends. We are not walking this journey alone.

Patience. For the love of Peter flipping Pan (it’s a saying. mine!). Practice patience! (Note to self.) Patience oozes kindness… and grace. Why can’t we be more patient, not only with those around us, but with ourselves — every day, with all things? As the saying goes, patience is a virtue. Uncertain if I will master such a virtuous quality. Maybe one day. (Bossy — I’ve more than mastered. I’d say, proficiently. Patience — I am really, really trying!) Giving myself a little slack (and grace): with as long as this illness + trying to heal journey has been meandering along, learning to embrace patience has been a must. And, a constant work in progress.

Acceptance. Tough lessons here. Have no advice, quasi wisdom or sass to add. Acceptance is such a personal journey; and individual interpretation. And for me, an ever-evolving journey, within a journey. I can share this: I have accepted that I may never fully accept the true sense of acceptance! Translation: I accept that I have chronic, complex diseases that dictate my life. I do not accept that my health may not improve. I accept my here and now. I do not accept that my here and now is as good as it gets. Not in denial. Simply choosing Hope over gloom and doom (at least at the moment of writing this).

Acceptance is the fifth stage of grief, and wow! do I pinball my way between anger, depression and acceptance — have for over two decades. I’ve written about my specific friend v. foe relationship with acceptance here: Acceptance — A Powerful Element of Healing… and in Life; followed up with Positivity, Acceptance and Gratefulness in Tow, Healing is Still Hard! Reading these posts will hopefully offer a better understanding of lessons to be learned about acceptance — through my eyes.

Perspective. There are limited ‘simple’ lessons learned while living with illness. Perspective changes based upon endless elements, in particular: one’s circumstances and available support system. There is no doubt this past year, along with compromised health and limited lifestyle (and maturity slowly joining the party — waaay behind the gray hair attack), my overall perspective has changed, evolved. Have finally given in to this realization: the small stuff simply doesn’t matter. What used to wig me out, generally rolls off my back. Now, does this imply that I no longer get riled?… (hahahahaha!) Totally laughing (with a snort!), along with anyone who knows me. Not to worry. Little will stop me from getting fired up, in particular when it comes to issues of significance that I am truly passionate about; and I will always have anxiety/ OCD-ish tendencies — but those are completely different levels of elevation/concern. Energy and time, all too precious to be wasted on unimportant, insignificant shtuff that — in the great big scheme of things in this life — truly doesn’t matter. At least that’s my story (at the moment), and I’m stickin’ too it!

Side note: A little over five years ago, I co-wrote a guest post on a lovely friend’s blog, along with two other bloggers/ writers. Here is the link, should you wish to give a read: ‘How Chronic Illness Shifts Your Perspective.’

In Summary + Smidge of Advice: On the days when kindness and grace and patience, acceptance and/or perspective might be lagging behind, breathe. And feel — whatever needs to be felt. Be sad. Grieve. Cry. Be angry. Yell, if need be. Scream from the top of your lungs (preferably into a pillow, as not to freak out any living beings within scream-shot). Let pent-up emotions go. Release. Meditate. Find your calm.

And please, for all the puppies and kittens in the world… forgive… yourself… and anyone needing to be forgiven. Life is too damn short to harbor unhealthy, weighted thoughts and feelings. We all make mistakes. We are all sinners. We are all only human — mere mortals. Let shtuff go. And. Move. On.

Realize the moving on part is tricky, and definitely less easy for some. Wish the complicated/ delicate/ painful parts could be easier (for all of us). Why do we allow (muddied) perspective and stubbornness… and pride… to get in the way? (Guilty!) Think maybe we should work more on that perspective angle, ehh?!

Year-End Food for Thought

In taking stock of the past twelve months — setting aside all of the political bs and Covid madness — how about we all take a breath and press pause. Man oh man (or is it cisgender man oh cisgender man?) am I ready to leave 2021 baggage behind. We could all probably use a refresh and reboot of some sort. Maybe less-to-no TV/ social media. More time in nature. More time breathing in fresh, unmasked air! More time acknowledging our blessings, no matter the size.

Again, all sounds easy-peasy. Amazing how common sense, simple, healthy intentions are still challenging. Especially for human peeps who are not in control of what their health/ days may have in store (or for those on a crusade to help change the world — or at least help to restore/ protect personal freedoms, you know, pesky civil liberties and all!). Nonetheless, quite certain everyone understands this general concept: we may not always be in control of what happens to or around us, however, (with few exceptions) we are undeniably in control of how we react.

Let’s give 2022 the best we have to offer. We can only hope for the same in return.

Until my next Reflection…

Cheers to 2021! A send off with Hope held close. Hope and prayer. For better.

Isn’t that truly the essence of what any of us can do, individually and collectively — hope and pray for better?

Whatever, however, whenever ‘better’ may be for you and within your corner of the globe… I hope and pray for that.

Blessings, love and light — always!

Until 2022…

Over here reflecting about life, illness + healing. Offering encouragement + empathy + support. Sharing smatterings of sarcasm + sass. Oozing with opinion. Speaking my truth. —tmm

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