Coping: A Daily Battle for the Chronically Ill.

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Coping can indeed be a struggle — and daily battle — for anyone suffering with illness or facing personal trials and tribulations.

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This post was originally shared during an extremely difficult and challenging period in my illness + healing journey. The following served as a coping mechanism — a blogging-therapy session — as many of my Reflections tend to be. Perhaps you may find my thoughts and experiences relatable.

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Coping: A Daily Battle for the Chronically Ill.

It’s been quite a rough go lately: the bed-bound, higher than normal fevers + excessive body temperature fluctuations, extreme nausea, unrelenting fatigue, roaming body pain, “get the elephant off my chest,” miserable beyond miserable, hostage in my own body kind of rough patch. Basically, your average Lyme + Babesia + Bartonella flare.

These nasty flares pass. Eventually. Perhaps only momentarily, but they pass. Until the next extremely miserable phase rolls around. More than likely in concert with a new or full moon phase (yeah, it’s a real thing!), weather pattern changes, added emotional stress… or, simply because.

Like most who cope with disease, flares, and the onslaught of symptoms that come with, oh how I plead to one day be free from the clutches of illness.

Until a cure or proven treatments for persistent, late-stage, chronic/long-haul Lyme disease (and multiple accompanying co-infections and autoimmune unknowns) are further developed and/or discovered, miserableness will more than likely continue — indefinitely. Not only for myself, but for millions of Lyme fighters + survivors (world-wide) who cope and battle with these relentless, debilitating diseases. Every. Single. Day. 

Lest we forget the millions of long haulers who experience similar life-altering symptoms + flares: patients living with post-Covid symptoms, myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA), Lupus, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), Fibromyalgia, complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), Multiple Sclerosis (MS), cancer — to name only a few diseases and autoimmune conditions. Sadly, the list is infinite. 

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Warning! The following content may be highly sensitive for patients coping with severe depression and mental health conditions.

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When symptoms seem at their maximum level, it’s a battle within a battle not to give in; to not allow the weariness and all-encompassing struggles to take over; to not let illness win.

On days when tears are free-flowing and experiencing new levels of miserable, it is indeed a challenge to keep one’s spirits pure. During these difficult moments, I am most grateful for my faith (and rock of a husband). When the darkness lingers and burdens become too heavy, in need of help, I reach out to beloved prayer warriors. Without these vital pillars of strength in my life, the suffering, weakness, and lingering sadness (grief over the loss of my former self — life before Lyme and chronic disease) could possibly overcome me, stripping away the will to fight — leaving me in a place of hopelessness.

I know this because I’ve been there. In the depths of despair, unable to see any glimmer of light. Wanting to be done. More times than I care to reflect upon. By God’s grace and the power of prayer, the grasp of such depth and darkness has been broken. And I’m still here, physically present. (Not going for the dramatic, or forcing my faith upon others — I’m simply sharing my raw, vulnerable truth.)

By nature I’m an upbeat, positive-minded, strong-willed, stubborn, feisty human. But over the years (decades, actually) of being relentlessly sick, toughness slowly chips away, bit by bit, with each miserable day that passes. Thanks of course to determined diseases shamelessly wreaking havoc.

With what seems like a never-ending battle to rid my body of these insidious diseases, there are times when it’s almost impossible to see any positive outcome. Pain, overwhelming miserableness and darkness gain momentum, often over-shadowing the joy in my life.

I can’t let this happen!  That’s not who I am, under the layers of illness. Strong. Stubborn. Sassy.  That’s the me I know, still deep inside this body, patiently waiting, trying to shine through. 

So to all who are fighting fiercely for renewed health — day in and day out — we may be weak, weary, tattered, but we are not broken. I repeat: We. Are. Not. Broken!

We can’t give up on ourselves. We can’t stop fighting. We cannot let illness and hardships win.

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“We haven’t come this far to only come this far!”

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[bctt tweet=”To all who are fighting fiercely for renewed health, we may be weak, weary, tattered; we are not broken. We can’t give up on ourselves. We can’t stop fighting. We cannot let illness win.—tmm” username=”TerryMMayfield”]

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When life may seem terribly overwhelming, daunting, perhaps even bleak, please remember lovelies — you are not alone!

An army of warriors are fighting with you. An online community, a family of illness survivors, your people, your tribe… who “get it”… who get you!  Whenever in need, day or night, please reach out. Someone from around the globe will be there to help lift you up. Because that is what amazingly fierce, empathy-filled illness warriors do, we lift one another up — near and afar!

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Should you ever find yourself in such insufferable pain, feeling as though your will, your fight is slipping away… please… please… ask for help!  The following resources are within reach:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Suicide & Crisis LIFELINE: 988

MentalHealth.gov

Top Online Therapy Services

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Whether balancing the daily complexities of chronic illness or dealing with a multitude of challenges this life often presents, it is up to each of us to find our way. Hopefully learning from the journey; finding, mastering the ability to cope; embracing the willingness to look beyond our troubles.

There may will be days we have to dig down really deep — until we find the strength to pull ourselves up by the proverbial bootstraps, and do everything in our power to block out the darkness — in order to truly recognize all the good in our lives, in this world. And that’s okay.

We are only human!

But regardless of life’s trials, may we take time to look around — outside of our challenges — to see we truly are surrounded by endless blessings — big and small, beautiful reasons to keep fighting, reasons to breathe — to allow love into our hearts, to choose joy and kindness, to be grateful, each and every day. 

Coping, most assuredly, is a daily battle. May we keep searching for balance and ways to move forward… one tiny step at a time. 

Whatever your journey, may faith, love, and hope help guide the way.

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Until my next Reflection…

Blessings, positive vibes and virtual hugs are with you — today and always.

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[bctt tweet=”Coping, most assuredly, is a daily battle. May we keep searching for balance and ways to move forward— one tiny step at a time. —tmm” username=”TerryMMayfield”]

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[bctt tweet=”Regardless of life’s trials, may we take time each day to look beyond our struggles; to see we truly are surrounded by endless blessings, beautiful reasons to keep fighting; to be grateful. —tmm” username=”TerryMMayfield”]

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Revised: Feb. 20, 2017, Oct 7, 2019, September 6, 2020

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