Deep Reflections,  Life,  My Journey — My Truth,  Poetry

Deep From Within

November 3, 2019

My Soul Speaks

Dark and dim, unrest from within

Confused, disappointed, overwhelmingly weak

Pleading for strength, for guidance I seek

Saddened by struggle, present life, constant fight

In search of true clarity and clinging to faith

I’m looking and searching — but, where is the light?

Scars appear few, invisible to most

Internally battered, deeply shaken and torn

Burrowed deep down inside, this body is scorned.

Days into months, this bed I am chained

What more can be done to fend off such pain?

Frozen in time, I watch from afar

As loved ones live life and time passes by

My path has been altered, true purpose undefined

I know not to question, but, seriously — why?

Life longing to be lived outside of these walls

Fully and freely — Lord, please hear my calls!

Years come and go, with me less a part

Now closer to old, much further from young

Will prayers be answered?

Will relief one day come?

My Soul Speaks

—Terry xx



Over here reflecting about life, illness + healing. Offering encouragement + empathy + support. Sharing smatterings of sarcasm + sass. Oozing with opinion. Speaking my truth. —tmm

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64 Comments

  • Carol Cole
    November 6, 2019 at 4:37 pm Reply

    You are a beautiful lady in and out and the Lord will answer your prayers and so many that have you in theirs, but he will answer in his time. I can not imagine the pain you go through each day but always remember you are in so many prayers and the Lord is there with you. As the bible says there is a reason for everything and only he knows what that is. Close your eyes and feel this big hug I am sending to you. Always, always sweet lady you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you to the moon and back!!!

    • Jaime
      September 4, 2020 at 5:52 pm Reply

      Terry, you are one of the most beautiful true hearted, down to earth souls I know. I may never meet you, but you always make me feel validated and lack of better words, less afraid of this unknown illness outcome.

      In your beautiful poem “My Soul Speaks,” first it was so relatable and second this part specifically speaks to me and I battle every single day.

      “My path has been altered, true purpose
      undefined I know not to question, but, seriously — why?”

      THAT i pray to God why, when, what is my future? Only this? I ask, I spent 8 yrs in school with 2 kids. One a baby and one a sick toddler. I only got 6.5 yrs out of my dream I had since I was 13! To take care of very sick babies in the NICU! People say I will go back but I’m really not being negative,I don’t believe that to be true. I just don’t think I can settle for anything else than that specific dream. If I ever work again. Although I know I’m so blessed regardless of this horrific disease we are fighting. I’m sorry my brain is shot right now. Having a flare up, but I just want you to know, you always brighten my day even if just for of a moment of reading something you’ve tweeted or something you shared. You give me more purpose and chase away my demons I’m fighting in my brain. (Not literally demons) God bless you and sending prayers! 💚🙏

      • Terry Mayfield
        September 5, 2020 at 3:54 pm Reply

        Oh Jamie, besides making my cry… grateful tears, your kindness touches me deeply! Makes my ‘sharing’ even more meaningful when receiving such a thoughtful and beautiful message. Unfortunate of the why, it I am deeply thankful our paths have crossed. Blessings and love, to you sweet friend. Prayers for healing and strength!🙏🏼💚🦋

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