Finding Balance

How quickly time seems to fly by, yet simultaneously stand still.

For a while now, the days and nights have been melding into one another with very little break to differentiate the two.   These long stretches with little, if any, reprieve are still a challenge for this veteran chronic illness human.

Trapped in a bedridden cycle, I spend a fair amount of time trying to stay connected with the outside world via Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.   Thank you social media!    What might seem like frivolous time wasted on the interwebs to some, provides moments of mental stimulation and helps me to feel somewhat like I’m still part of society.  Albeit cyberspace, a society nonetheless.

While I may not have the mental clarity to read at any great length, I do try to spin what feels like complete uselessness into positive reflection and purpose.   Part of my attempt at finding some balance.

At the mercy of my current treatment protocol, I am horizontal and feeling miserable, generally all day every day and well into the evenings.  My body is feverishly attacking and hopefully killing off bad guys, a.k.a. Lyme sphirohete and co-infections.   This is not a fun process.  (Said every Lymie everywhere.)  There are definitely limitations to what I am physically capable of accomplishing.   Basically zilch.   A big fat zero.  Nada.  Zip-a-roony!  For the person with a type-A personality and OCD tendencies, being non-productive is difficult to cope with.   Oh how the messiness and projects are piling up.

Our current home is all on one level.  No basements to be found in the desert.  I seriously miss having a downstairs hide-all storage space.  At least if the mess is out of sight, perhaps it’s less likely to cause a wave of panic and stress.   Without a designated storage area, there are various nooks and crannies throughout our house being used as “temporary” dumping grounds.  The use of the word temporary is almost laughable.   Deep breath.   Don’t even get me started on what a disaster our master bedroom closet has become.  Basically all of our closets are strategically packed full, and should be marked off with yellow caution tape.   Another deep breath.   Then there are the piles of dirty laundry mounding toward the ceiling and sprawling out across the floor – yikes! The list of all I am not able to accomplish is a tad overwhelming and quite depressing.   Thinking about it is beginning to spark a panic attack!   Inhale 2, 3, 4, 5.   Exhale 2, 3, 4, 5.

Before I need to break out the brown paper bag, let’s “move it on along. Nothing to see here.”  #hyperventilating  #panicattack  #embarrassed

Those of you who follow me on social media may be aware of the Color Me Lyme Facebook page I created a while back.   In addition to starting this page, I’ve basically converted my Twitter and Instagram accounts, leaning more toward Color Me Lyme postings.   It’s not as if there is anything overly fun and exciting going on with me otherwise to share.   Except for posting photos of Eddie the cat.   I’m a proud rescue kitty mom, what can I say?   So while I’m parallel to the ground focusing on my convalescing, why not attempt to be somewhat productive with my interwebbing?

Trying to keep my mind semi-functioning, as I read articles especially on Lyme disease and health related issues in general, I shall be passing them along throughout the above mentioned social media outlets.   As well, I plan to continue spreading Lyme disease awareness and sincerely attempting to share uplifting, thought-provoking quotes and snippets of information.  All done by the amazing strength of thumb pecking on my phone, curled up under blankets, most likely with Eddie the cat snuggled close by.

Summary of this Blathering:

Fact 1.  Days turn into nights.  Nights turn into days.

Fact 2.  Been horizontal.  A LOT!   Consequently, spending time on social media.   A LOT!   Don’t judge.

Fact 3.  As a result of the aforementioned horizontal-ness, messiness and piles of to-do’s are mounding.  Bad for Type-A/OCDers.  Breathe, Terry, breathe!

Fact 4.   Trying to utilize time on the interwebs for positive purpose and hopefully keep the brain waves moving.

Fact 5.   Reason for flat back smack down:  Current treatment protocol is kicking my booty in a major way.

Bottom line, I’m trying to find balance.  Not always an easy task when faced with the life altering conditions that accompany living with a chronic illness.  We do the best we can, and that is all we can expect of ourselves.

For me, until I’m more upright and vertical, my balance is trying to let go of the small stuff, also known as the messiness.   Eventually these to-do’s will get done.   In the meantime, while I’m involuntarily logging unlimited hours in the reclining position, I shall try to use my cyberspace time in constructive and educational ways.

If you don’t by chance follow me on FB, IG, Twitter, or even Pinterest and would like to, please click on the icon of your choosing located under the Social tab – right hand side column – on the Home page of my blog site.  #shamelessplug

So fellow humans, I shall bring this rambling nonsense to a close for now.

Until my next Blatherings, may you find balance in your life – always!

Terry?

#FindingBalance #PositivePurpose #MedPulsingSucks #LymeDiseaseSucks #LymeIsKindOfKillingMyVibe #DontLetLymeStealYourJoy #KeepOnKeepingOn #KeepTheFaith #KeepFighting #NeverGiveUp #TurnPainIntoPurpose #LifeOfALymie #LivingTheLymeLife #OneDayAtATime #LymeWarriors  #LymeWarriorStrong #ColorMeLyme #BlatheringsOfALymie