Almost afraid to be too positive…
I am quite thankful to share a glimpse of sunshine in this partly cloudy – to cloudy – to stormy journey.
A couple of days over the past two weeks, and again yesterday I had moments of reprieve from my general yuckiness! At this stage in the “Spin the Wheel of Lyme,” I am realistic in knowing most of my “energy” has been adrenaline kicking in. This happens from time to time. Adrenaline or not, I am incredibly thankful for reprieve. Always!
My body and I will go through a complete shutdown, feeling beyond miserable with all of my symptoms cranked to an 11. And I sleep. A lot.
As I have shared in previous postings, if I’m not in bed sleeping then I am resting. Snuggled up under a blanket in my comfy recliner, usually with a kitty on my lap. Have I mentioned I have a cat? Eddie. He’s the bestest. (Another made up word to add to my future Terry-isms dictionary.)
Insert random thought here: Thank you Flexsteel for making such an incredibly comfy piece of furniture! (Residuals for my repeat “comfy recliner” endorsements would be nice.)
In my “Newbie Blogger Alert!” post, I warned you about my random thoughts. It’s a curse! Try living inside this Lyme infested brain.
Back to reprieve/episodes/phases explanation.
After an extremely miserable phase, which can be an afternoon, a day, days, or weeks, I may then go a few days where I am wide awake. Still feeling poopy, which requires me to rest but generally unable to sleep.
The poopy phase (such elegant phrasing, but accurate), is a welcomed improvement over the miserable phase. Because I may feel like being up out of bed (or “upright” as MM refers to it), I may try to push myself too much – simply because – I’m out of bed – whoo hoo! Quite often, okay almost always, I push myself too far because this is my way of trying to be slightly “normal.” This tends to bring the “whoo hoo” down a bit, and my body will start to crash.
Sometimes I may get a warning, with the shakes, chills, and nausea, mixed in with emotional overload (I start crying) and I can feel my body starting to get really weak and light-headed. That’s my warning sign to get out of the kitchen, stop wiping down the counter ten times (yep-OCD), hopefully grab something to snack on and a coconut water to help regulate my blood sugar and then quickly hit the comfy recliner. I might have to eventually go to bed, but right now – I am being warned – sit and REST!
Even with a warning starting to come on I may still try to push through, because I am a tad stubborn. (Tad? Makes me chuckle!)
Bad move. This triggers a full on – you’re an idiot phase! My body becomes so weak and shaky there is no time to do anything but park it wherever I am. I have no choice but to slide down my kitchen or bathroom cabinets, or even a wall, and park it on the floor to ride this bad boy out. Now the tears are really flowing, uncontrollably. Not sobbing and hysterical crying, simply tears streaming down my face with no shut off valve. It’s official, poopy phase is quickly shifting back toward miserable.
So glad I used up what little bit of energy I may have had to unload the dishwasher and rearrange the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. Bravo! (And yes, I rearrange my dirty dishes, stacking them neatly to one side. What? I am not an animal!)
Some days, trying to be even the slightest bit “normal” is not worth the exerted and misused energy. Right now, there are not enough spoons in the day!
Check out the spoon theory here: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
The most positive aspect of these recent reprieve moments, is that I have not had much reprieve over the past – too long to remember – time frame.
So long explanation long, the full on miserable phase has not happened in about a week. The poopy phase is still in check, but this too is an improvement. Can I get a woot woot?!!? Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care kind of woot woot!
I am, however, trying to contain my positive feelings because I have been bitten before (a little Lyme disease levity) in the booty by the reality of – we’re still in the midst of this fight for wellness.
However, I am – right now – at this very moment in time – more than ELATED to share some positive happenings thus far this week!
Until my next Blatherings…..wishing you some – wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care – positivity in your life.
Terry?
#keepingonkeepingon #keepingitreal #keepingthefaith #onedayatatime #lymedisease #lymewarriors #colormylyme #blatheringsofalyme #livingthelymelife #lifeofalymie
Terry Mayfield
Over here reflecting about life, illness + healing. Offering encouragement + empathy + support. Sharing smatterings of sarcasm + sass. Oozing with opinion. Speaking my truth. —tmm
19 Comments
Ann
????? I’m so happy for you and this glimpse of hope and ☀️! Keep the faith, girl. You can DO this! ?
terry
?????
Rosemary
Your very personal insights and commentary will, I hope, give you additional strength for this unwelcome journey. You have NOT lost a great sense of humor which will carry you through everything more easily. (maybe some of that has rubbed off on you from that funny man in your house?) Keep fighting the good fight. I love your blog!
Jeannine
Some advice I received once was sooooo helpful. It was from Anita Moorjani. You can google her and see several interviews on You Tube. It was this simple. Do what brings you joy. If you focus on your disease, it gives it power. I cannot believe how simple it was, but so effective. It does not seem easy to do at first, but I made a list of things that bring me joy from simple every day things, like holding a mug of hot chocolate on a chilly day to more complex like learning more about taking great photos. I also do a gratitude list even on the darkest days. Soon I found things turned around, almost miraculously!
terrymmayfield@aol.com
Thank you Rosemary! Living with this funny guy of mine definitely helps me with my positive focus. Thank you again, for the follow. Be well!?
terrymmayfield@aol.com
Wonderful advice Jeannine. Thank you for sharing! This process I am going through of the journal now blog, has been incredibly therapeutic. Wishing Good Health Always!?
dan
girlfriend, no one can keep keeping on like you! you are the empress of all warriors! love you!
terrymmayfield@aol.com
I am trying to learn from the best – and strongest. That’s you girlie!?
dawn
uh sorry .. thats dawn not dan – see i can’t type in the am – but i do mean every word of you being the empress of all warriors!
terrymmayfield@aol.com
??
Tracy Archer
Great hearing from you today…and that you were able to share positives ??
Love you ?
terrymmayfield@aol.com
?
najlepszy sklep
Wow, wonderful blog layout! How lengthy have you been blogging for?
you made blogging glance easy. The full glance of
your site is wonderful, let alone the content material! You can see similar here dobry sklep
zoritoler imol
Those are yours alright! . We at least need to get these people stealing images to start blogging! They probably just did a image search and grabbed them. They look good though!
Sugar Defender Reviews
I have not checked in here for some time because I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
hire a hacker uk
whoah this blog is wonderful i love reading your articles. Keep up the good work! You know, many people are searching around for this info, you can help them greatly.
Fitspresso
I¦ve recently started a website, the information you offer on this site has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time & work.
Leanbiome
I have read several just right stuff here. Certainly price bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot attempt you place to create one of these great informative web site.
how much does it cost to hire a hacker
I genuinely enjoy reading through on this internet site, it contains fantastic posts. “He who sees the truth, let him proclaim it, without asking who is for it or who is against it.” by Henry George.